Cover your damn mouth!

i am SO SICK of people walking around town, sitting behind me on the bus, in front of me at the till, pushing their stupid babies around and COUGHING their bleedin’ heads off! all the damn time and all around me. ok, i’ll admit to being a touch germ phobic, but i’ve realized lately that my immune system is supercharged and as a consequence, i don’t often catch shit that’s going around. case in point, Husband has been down with the man flu at least twice in the past several months and despite smothering him with love and sharing close quarters with him, i’ve been spared the plague.

but back to my violent bitching…

ok, i do understand that it’s winter, in ireland and 90% of irish people seem to get “winter cough” which they consider to be completely normal and something that happens with the seasons (seasons? hmmm). i know this from working in a naturopathic clinic as part of my edumacation. i have also heard not one, but several people talking about having PLEURISY. what. the. ever-loving. fuck? is this the middle ages? are we living in damp, dank, drafty castles with no sanitation?! i suppose if you think “winter cough” is a completely normal thing and that going on antibiotics several times a year isn’t cause for alarm, i guess then you might not be too shocked to develop bizarre antiquated diseases that the rest of the civilized world no longer even thinks about.

i don’t know at what point in human history, people decided that it was ok to cough their heads off in public without making the slightest attempt to spare us from their lung plague. i mean COME ON people! from the sounds of things, what you have ISN’T GOOD and I DON’T WANT IT. from the sound of things, you probably don’t have long to live. by golly, why are you even OUTSIDE?! jaysus, go the fuck home and eat some chicken soup! or get thee to a hospital!

i’ve noticed this starting at a very young age with useless parents (probably had the kid by mistake because they’re too useless to use a condom, or they’re too high on meth or heroin… but i digress) walking around with their kids coughing incessantly and not turning around to bitchslap them for not covering their mouths. back in my day if i so much as cleared my throat without a hand in front of my face, i’d get a speedy backhand to the mouth from seemingly nowhere. i guess this is what happens when you’re not allowed to beat your kids. complete social anarchy. and the rampant spread of disease.

i see why the asians wear face masks everywhere.


7 Comments to “Cover your damn mouth!”

  1. Nice, but you´ve lost the edge in the last paragraph 🙂 Me wants more punct.u.ated swearing!

    And wtf can´t I log in with G+ on this goddamn wordpress??

  2. do i look like i work for either wordpress or google? how should i know?

    oh wait, i think you’d have preferred a more angry response… how the FUCK should *I* know?! go take your whining to someone who gives a shit.

    better? 😀

  3. What are your thoughts on people sneezing without covering their mouths? Bad on a bus when someone sneezes on the back of your head…worse when you’re on the dart and it’s someone sitting right across from you!

  4. This and spitters make my blood boil, some dirty facker whilst walking towards me hoicked up a massive gobful and spat it out, almost in my path – I won’t say how nuts I went, I was thermo-nuclear!

  5. Sneezing: If I’m ever in the path of a sneezer, I hold my breath til the danger has passed. Although, half the time I try to subjugate my inner hypochondria and tell myself they just have allergies.

    Spitters: that exact thing happened to me too! Tho I’m only a wee thing so I kept my disgust to myself at the time and tried to avoid the oncoming glob. I find few things more disgusting than spitting and I can’t think of any of them right now. I should write about it but I’m afraid I might throw up in the process :/

    • People who don’t clean up after their pooch has taken a sh1t somewhere is another, in the past I’ve almost been tempted to pick the turd up and sling it back at them! Sometimes I think I need help!!!

  6. This rant is a loaf of fresh air!
    People should be punished with a smack in their heads whenever they behave like Ogres. Savages you wanna share something? Share your euros! not the coughing/sneezing/spitting/farting (you name it). Those, store them all in a nice little xmas present wrap and share it with your family and loved relatives!

    Ahhh felt good!

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